Don't Come Back
by i.love.him.123
Summary: Four years has gone by since Edward has left and Bella is all messed up. Until they find each other. Will Edward be able to fix the broken Bella, or will he leave her alone in the dark. AN Depressing, do not click if you do not like. Oneshot
1. Leave Me Be

A/N: I don't not own the characters of Twilight, nor am I Stephenie Meyer.

Chapter One: Leave Me Be

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"You know what! I hope you crawl underneath a rock and fuck someone you little whore!" I screamed. I assumed that I was beyond pissed. Ever since he left me, everything has gone wrong. 

I heard the footsteps coming to my door again. Renee slammed open my door more furious than ever. "Excuse me! What did you just say to me?" I stood up and was now about 3 inches away from her face.

"I-Hope-You-Crawl-Under-A-Rock-And-Fuck-Someone-You-Little-Whore!" I said in syllables. And the last thing I knew was that I felt the stinging from a slap in the face and stumbling to my bed.

"Never ever say those words to me again young lady." She sounding convincing. But not that convincing.

"Fuck me. Just like you do every body else in the world!" I screamed at her again.

She stomped out of my room, slamming the door behind her screaming at the top of her lungs. And all I could to was drown her screams out with my CD player and smile, only because I would not see her at all again tonight, which meant I was free.

I lied on my bed staring at the ceiling while repeating "Session" by Linkin Park on my CD player over and over again. I could feel tears piling up, and I tried to block them out but, I failed. I took my headphones off, and threw my CD player at my wall, where it shattered to pieces.

I hugged my knees to my chest and rocked slightly back and forth, crying. I fell over on my bed and sat there crying, still having my knees to my chest. It hurt, everything hurt, and it wouldn't go away, no matter how much I tried.

I reached underneath my bed and grabbed my little friend, and slid my arm slowly across it about 10 times. Each time I did it, I winced, but it made everything better. I put my little friend back and let my arm soak in my crimson blood until I finally fell asleep.

Even though I'm 21 now, four years has gone by, and ever since Edward had left, things had been messed up left and right. He never came back for me, and I felt half-dead. I couldn't stand living with Charlie, because of all the memories that were there. And so I came to Florida to live with my mom. I had no where else to go.

I woke about two hours later. I got up from my bed and decided I needed a new CD player or I was going to go nuts. It was 9:00, so I was okay. I went into the bathroom to clean up my arm. I rinsed it, stung, but I was going to fine, physically at least.

I snuck back to my room and put up my hair, put a long sleeved shirt, along with a couple bracelets, just in case my sleeve came up. And put on some black skinny jeans, and ended with socks and my converse.

I opened my window quietly, and went out legs first, I had put pillows under my covers, just in case my mom came to check on me.

I landed on the Earths ground and almost fell on my ass, but I was okay.

I walked down the street, while taking my other little friend out, I sat on a deserted bench and emptied it out on so my hand, little by little, sniffing it up. God was it was awesome. I dropped my arm. I would still remember things but not really. I couldn't remember names and faces that well, because of the effect my little friend had on me.

5 minutes passed, and I got up, a little wobbly, but I was fine. It took me about fifteen minutes to walk to Target. Not that far though. I liked walking slow.

I walked into the store, feeling the air conditioners on me, it all felt too good. I walked to the back to where the electronics were. Looking at all the portable CD players, I could feel eyes on me. I looked over. And I could have sworn that the face I saw was familiar.

"Bella?" The familiar guy said to me. His voice made my heart sting. I winced and started walking away, but faster than my normal pace should have been.

And little did I know, I was being followed. I stopped back, this was utterly annoying. I stopped and turned around so that I was standing face to face with him 10 feet away.

"Do I know you?" My voice sure did sound annoyed.

He cringed at me. "Don't you remember me? Edward?" I stopped thinking, everything shut down. And then the pain started stinging everywhere.

"Bella?" He said, but his words weren't reaching me right. And of course, the only way I responded was gasping for air. "Fuck!" Was the only word I could get out, and a little louder than I wanted it to be.

He looked at me confused and I know why, I looked horrible for one. And two, he's never heard me say something like that.

My legs reacted faster than my brain could, I darted for the door. And once that I was outside, I ran, I didn't know where to, but anywhere but here.

I knew I couldn't shake him off. He was faster than I was, but I needed to get out of that spot.

I ran as fast as my legs would carry me, which was in my favorite spot. On top of a tall hill where you could be alone. As I ran, I could feel the tears spill out of my eyes.

I collapsed on my hill and sat on the grass. And a second later, he was there, standing right in front of me.

"Bella? Are you okay?" He asked, and I looked at him as if he were a dumbass.

"Look at me, do I look like I'm fucking okay?" He stepped closer to me.

"You look fantastic. I haven't seen you since that one day." Now I knew he was a lunatic. I looked ten times worse than the last time I'd seen him.

He came and sat in front of me, reaching for my hands, but I pulled them away and set them aside.

"What are you doing out here at dark." He looked at me still confused. Probably with the way I was reacting.

"Wouldn't you like to know?" I said and looked away, still having tears coming out of my eyes.

He looked at me a little hurt. "Seriously, I want to know, why are you out here?" He leaned closer.

I was negotiating with myself, trying to figure out if this was a dream or not. I slapped myself in the face, unfourtunately, I felt it. This couldn't be happening. "I broke my CD player and I was going to get a new one, plus I'm needing to meet up with someone." I told him so that he would stop asking.

"Really? How did you break your last one?" He said.

"Why do you keep asking so many questions?" I asked, annoyed.

He cringed again. "Because, I want to know what's going on. I haven't seen you in a long time."

"I got in a fight my mom, got pissed and shattered it against a wall. You happy now." I stood up. I was hating it right now. This just was not the time. If I knew that I was going to be seeing him, I would not be getting high on a bench.

He stood up too. "Ouch, so you moved in with Renee? What happened with Charlie?" I felt like I was going to explode out of my head. I needed to get out of here.

"It hurt too much to be there." Was all I said and started to walk away.

His face sadden. "Oh…. I'm sorry." He said slowly, keeping pace with me as I walked.

"Whatever." I grimaced and kept walking.

He stopped. "Where are you going?" He asked and I knew he wanted an answer.

"Away." I said and sped up my pace.

"Away? What do you mean? Bella, what happened to you?" His voice had a whole lottery ticket full of pain in it. "Your different."

I stopped and started walking to him slowly. "What the hell do you expect me to say Edward?" I stopped half way. "I'm a happy little college girl, my life is so great, I don't need anyone to make me happy because I'm already happy." I mimicked someone superbly hyper. "You left me in a forest half dead, Edward." My voice cracked. "You said you didn't want me, you left me there dying, I might as well go hang myself from a tree, because obviously no body wants me." I closed my eyes shut for a little and counted to five, trying to calm down.

"Charlie sent me to a physiatrist, a therapist, everything he could think of, nothing worked and he sent me off to my mother." His expression fell, I continued. "Me and my mother fight all the time, I don't talk to her anymore, except for when I'm screaming all I can at her. She's about to kick my ass out of her apartment. I have no one. And here you come back, talking to me like nothing happened when everything is fucked up everywhere." I was now crying, unable to hide it anymore.

I looked at him. He too looked like he was going to cry, but even I knew he couldn't.

My voice was expressionless and low. "There's more to it, but you don't have any say in it so it doesn't matter. Now I have somewhere to be." I said and started to walk off. But he started talking and I stopped in my tracks.

"So all of this is because of me?" He looked at me with dead eyes.

I turned towards him. "You think this is your fault?" I laughed. "Yeah. Right. The reason I'm like this is my fault, and because nobody cared. It's neglect." I turned and started walking again.

I heard no more from him. And as much as I knew, he wasn't following.

-

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-

An hour and a half later I found myself strolling around the park. I did something wrong, I knew I shouldn't have said those things to him, I might have pushed him too far. But at least he doesn't even no the half of it.

I found my way to a tree and stood facing it, and with one strike, I hit my head. I felt the blood rushing down my face, and waited for the nausea to come.

I sat down and leaned my head against the tree, waiting for what would happen next. Next, as I knew it, I felt the tears roll down my face. I hated when they came for a visit.

I let my mind wander as I sat at my tree. Five minutes later, the bleeding stopped and I was finally able to get up, but I stumbled back to my way down. "UGH! I HATE THIS!"

I hugged my knees to my chest and started to fall unconscious, only until I heard footsteps coming my way onto the grass. I looked up to see who it was. Nonetheless, I found myself shocked.

"Bella?" Edward's voice almost sang.

"Greaaat. Your back." I murmured not sure if I was wanting him to here that.

He looked at me, but not like he was hurt or anything, and sat down beside me once again. "I t-thought about what you said." He tried not to stammer over his words. "And I am sincerely sorry for what I did, but I had no choice but to leave you, you weren't right for me." He looked at the ground. "And I didn't know what else to do. I never stopped loving you, and I always regretted leaving you, I kept thinking and rethinking about returning. I'm so sorry. I never wanted that for you to happen. I want you. And I keep thinking that you will never forgive me, but, will you forgive me?" He sounded so concerned. But how was I ever able to forgive him for what he did. But I had no choice. He was my possibility for me to get better. He was my only chance.

I felt the tears building up again. I choked my words out. "Really? Oh my god Edward. It's not that easy. A lot of things have changed." He looked at me from the ground with sadness in his eyes.

"I know, but I really want to be with you. Bella, I love you." He said

"Edward, I don't know how bad things could get. I'm already screwed right now. There are so many things that are different in my life, I'm surprised that you even recognize me." I could feel the tears welling up again.

"I could help? Can't I? I can try to make things better." I hated it when he was charming me.

"Edward? I-I don't know..." I trailed off, not knowing what to say.

"Bella, please? I really want you back. There has never been anything else in the world that I want more than this." He pleaded more. I starred at him wide eyed. This had to be a dream, or a nightmare, or... something. If it is, might as well make the best of it.

I threw my arms around him. And cried even more. He in return, put his arms around me. "Shhh, Bella, it's okay now." He tried saying repeatedly. "Bella, I love you. It's going to be alright." Soon after, my crying softened quietly.

"Edward? I love you. Please never leave me?" I pleaded.

"I promise. Don't worry, everything will be okay." I could hear that he was smiling.

I pulled away quickly and looked at my watch. "DAMN IT! I'm really sorry, but I have got to go." I looked at him sadly.

"Okay, I'll take you home." He looked at me smiling.

"Really? Are you sure? Wait, when was the last time you went hunting?" I had to make sure it would be safe.

He looked at me confused. "Three days ago." He said concerned.

"Okay." Said joyfully. "Come on." We both stood, and he motioned for me to get on his back. I looked at home like he was some crazy person on a bull. "Are you sure?"

He smiled my favorite crooked smile. "Of course." He gestured.

I climbed on his back and off we went.

-

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-

As soon as we got to my apartment, I had gotten off his back. I looked at him. "Uh? Do you want to come in?" I offered.

"Of course." He quietly laughed. And all I did was smile gladly that he was back again.

I grabbed the rope, and climbed up, but he didn't need it, obviously.

By the time I got up there, he was already in my room. "Okay, yeah, so my room isn't as plain as you would think, but it's there." I turned on my light, and it made my room all bluish, it was the only way that Renee would know that I was asleep if she walked down the hall. And everything was plain, except for the couple of band posters on my walls.

And thank goodness that you couldn't smell the blood from before, or else I would be in trouble. I took my hair down, sat on my bed, and yawned. Edward looked at me. "Maybe you should sleep, your exhausted." He suggested.

"Yeah maybe your right." He sat down next to me. And looked at me straight in the eyes.

"Bella, you know I love you right? And that I never want to hurt you ever again?" I nodded.

"Good. I just wanted to make sure." He whispered in my ear, and then lightly pressed his lips against mine and quickly pulled away. "Now you need to get to bed."

I lied down and he too lied to next to me, stroking my hair as if it were all a dream and he'd never be able to do it again.

"Edward?" I asked almost half asleep.

"Yeah?" he answered.

"I love you so much." I couldn't think of a way to explain it. "I love you too." He responded.

I turned over so that I was facing him. And he knew what I was searching for, like always. I found his lips and then I slowly fell asleep while he was humming my favorite lullaby and stroking my hair as I dosed off.

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Okay, I think I should know that it is wrong to start another story if you still have two more in progress. But I had this in my head and I just had to write it down. Iono, guess the emotions in it were sorta how I felt. I don't mind flames, this was simply just for entertainment or whatsoever. Anywho, please review for next chapter? Or the whole story will die completely. Thank you. 

-Suki

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Update. 10/9/07 

Okay, I added a little more things in, cause I've read it, and each time I do, it just seems like something is missing, and each time I add somthing in there, it makes a lot more scence. Oh yeah, and yes there will be another chapter, I am not working on it. Thank you for those of you that reviewed. I am now trying harder to make this story more interesting and meaningful. If you have any advice to give me, e-mail me at in(underscore)love14389 at yahoo . com . Thank you. Sorry it won't let me put the underscore in there without deleting it.

-Suki

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New update. 10/10/07

Okay I know this is kind of soon, but within the next 5 or 6 days, Number TWO chapter will be up. So keep checking in from time to time. You will never know when there is somthing new. Thank you for preveiwing.

-Suki


	2. Secrets

Hello peoples. Yeah I know, I'm a day later than what I said I would, but you know? School is really mmaking me angry. And I'm sorry that school likes to get in the way. My apologies. Anyway. RxR please. Thank you. P.S. I'm sorry, but this sorry but this story isn't going to be as long as I would like it to. So I'm probably thinking about about 2 more chapters. Sorry, But I also have to get to updating my other stories as well. Once again. Sorry, but I will try to make it awesome! Okay?

-Suki

Chapter Two: Secrets

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The next morning I woke up to someone smacking my legs, saying, "GET UP NOW! WE NEED TO TALK." Then I heard the door open and close, and I knew that I was alone.

I sat up and tried to wake up. I finally got my eyes to open, and I looked around my room. I knew it. It was just a dream, or a nightmare, whatever you want to call it.

But why me. All my pain did, was return to its rightful place. I sat there sitting on my bed, arms on my knees, staring at my wall. And I felt slight tears will up in my eyes. I really wasn't in the mood for crying right now. So I hid my head in my arms, quietly sobbing.

Why me? Why did I have to be the one to go through this? I hated it. It was torture. My dreams have always lied to me. I could barely stand it.

I got up after a few minutes, pulling a new black long sleeve shirt over my head along with some dark sweats. I stood there at my dresser, staring at my shaving tool, thinking about taking advantage of it, but I didn't really want to right now.

Though I kept thinking about it. I never did. I still stood at my dresser, with my eyes drooping from being so tired. I felt like I was about to faint. I lifted my sleeve to see the masterpiece that I had created the night before. I didn't feel ashamed. I just stood there and lightly smiled.

I slowly turned of my light and walked out into the living room, where my mother was waiting on the couch. My hair was down and looked like a giant mess, like two cats have gotten in a fight up there.

I sat down on the love seat in front of her on the couch and looked at her sucpiously. I waited for her to talk.

"Bella…" she started off. "Bella I love you, and I just wanted you to know that. Okay?" She was still looking at me inventively and so I just nodded.

"Okay. Well I was thinking…" She looked like she was rethinking what she was thinking. "I was thinking that it might be better for you if you moved out." She said in a rush, obviously trying to get her point out.

I sat there as my mouth dropped to what felt like twenty feet. "Bella, honey?" She tried seeing if I was going to faint or something. I jumped out of my seat.

"So that's it right?! Your just going to let me fucking go?! Living out there on my own, when you know I don't even have a damn job?!' I knew I was going to lose it. So I turned around and took in a couple deep breaths. I twirled back around to face her.

"How could you?" I said in a whisper. She just looked at me and shrugged. "Mom? What I am supposed to do? Where am I going to live?" I said almost breaking out into tears.

She looked at me dumbfounded, as if I was supposed to know or something. "Where mom? Where do I go from here?"

"Out on the street I guess?" I looked at her again and furrowed my eyebrows.

"Are you crazy? What kind of mother are you?" I gave her another crazy look.

"A mother that has given up." She whispered. I stood there and then collapsed to the couch.

"Wha- Why? Wh-…" I was babbling. I couldn't believe my ears. I through my arms up in the air like a madman. "MOM!" I don't think I've said mom this many times in one day.

"Okay fine, before you lose it. I give you a new option… I'll give you at least four and a half months to get a job and move out of here. Bella? I can't take this anymore. It's taking my sane away, I'm sorry that you lost him, Bella. But you really need to move on, on to something new already. I know your really depressed. But I can't help you anymore, there is nothing more a mother can do." She said almost breaking into tears again.

I nodded and stood up to go to my room. I practically drug my feet, and mumbled "Okay." on my way down the hall.

As soon as I was in my room, I locked the door behind me. And on the way to my bed I took my shaver and head to my bed, wrapping the sheets round me, now sliding the razor on my arm. I loved the feeling of it. It seemed to calm me.

Then I was done and I threw the razor on my bed next to me. I hated _everything_ that was happening in my life right now.

I let my shirt soak in my blood as I pulled my legs up to my chest and resting my now bleeding arms and my head on top of them.

My window was open and all I could think was _"I hope it gets cold enough to freeze me"_.

"Bella?" I heard someone calling my name, and it definitely did not sound like my mother. But I stayed in my spot and pretended not to hear it, I buried my head in my arms. It was probably just my imagination. Nothing important.

Then all of a sudden, out of nowhere, Edward was standing in my room. But I still didn't budge. Just my imagination, is all I set my mind to.

"Bella? What happened? Why does your room reek of blood? Bella, honey? What happened?" He came over sitting on the edge of my bed. But for some reason I didn't want to move anywhere, like my body was on lockdown. It had to be a dream, I never woke up. My mom telling me to move out, Edward in my room, it just all had to be a dream. Nothing was real anymore.

Then, I felt arms wrap around me. I felt the tears come again. Then the quiet sobbing. I looked up, only to see Edwards worried, onyx eyes staring at me. You could see it, blood, everywhere. The sheets, the razor, even my shirt, though it was black. But it was a little faded, no mistaking it.

"Bella? Please tell me? What happened?" He asked again.

"Me." I whispered. He looked at my seriously again. "What?"

"Me," I said again, a little louder this time. "Me is what happened. I'm a terrible person." I looked at my hands, which were now shaking. "I can't even tell what is real or what is not." I started letting the silent tears fall again, mixing with my almost dry blood.

He looked at me sympathetically. I didn't know what to do. I thought about jumping off a cliff, wondering if I was really just dreaming. There had to be a reason for all of this, he could not just show up after all these years, and tell me everything would be okay when I knew they were not.

"Bella." He said to me. "Please, tell me what happened. I want to help you." I sat there still speechless, not even letting his words pass through me.

He shook me a little. But shaking me a little made it seem like I was in a never ending coma.

He was questioning me as if I was never on this Earth. Then I thought about going straight up to my mother and punching her in the jaw for even thinking about letting me go.

I looked at Edward with almost dead eyes. "Bella, do you know what I'm saying? Do you know the words that are coming out of my mouth?" He questioned me again.

I then shoved away from him, getting off my bed to clean up my bloody mess. He didn't even try keeping me back. "Of course I do, I'm not a freakin retard."

He sighed in relief, probably thinking that I was probably just having a spas attack. I then stripped my bed down and threw the sheets in the laundry, and then getting out a clean shirt. "Be right back." I told him as I went out of my room to go change in the bathroom.

My mom was out in the living room, watching television. So it was safe to go out of my room I guess.

I went to the sink in the bathroom and washed my arm off. Then changing into the newer, cleaner shirt. I then brushed my hair and put it up, Tucking the hair that didn't stay behind my ears.

I silently walked back to my room, not like as if my mom was going to notice me. I walked into my bedroom.

Edward was sitting quietly on my bare bed. I needed to get some clean sheets, but I guess that could wait. His eyes were still a dark onyx, which I could still tell wasn't good at all.

I walked glumly over to my bed and sat down next to him. "Sorry." Was the only word I could get as a mumble.

"It's okay." He said and then smiled. But I could tell right away that he was faking it.

"No it's not" I said in a whisper. I didn't know what to say. My mind was blank, but even I knew that nothing was okay.

His fakish smile went away and he face went into worry. And his nose wrinkled. "Can we go for a walk or something, I can still smell your blood, and it is really hard to keep away." I nodded.

"Yeah, just let my grab my shoes and let me tell my mom that I'm going out." Him and I both stood up. And the next second. He was out my window.

I hurried downstairs and slipped on my shoes. "Mom, I'm going for a walk. See you later." He heard her loud shout of okay and then ran off to the outside world.

Edward waited for me out side on the sidewalk, I ran to be by his side. "Hey." I said. He just nodded.

Then we started walking out of the apartment complex.

"So, will you please tell me what happened this morning, you were covered in blood and everything. Did your mom do this to you?" I heard the concern in his voice and decided that I needed to tell him.

"Umm, well, no. Just a few words from her, and then she set me off. Although she knew that it was going to happen, she never touched me" I took a deep breath before continuing, wondering what reaction to my next words were going to be. "…I did that to myself."

I heard him stop behind me. I turned to face him. The look on his face unreadable. "What?" He whispered. "Why would you do that?" He said trying to understand something that wasn't clicking to his head.

"I don't exactly know for sure, it has always been my weakness, at least since four years ago, but I suppose Alice never told you, seeming as how you never knew." I said leaning on one leg and crossing my arms.

He looked at me a little guilty. "Well, even if she did know, she couldn't have even told me because I broke my phone." I looked at him a nodded. "So why exactly do you do it?" He asked still trying to get everything that has happened.

"I suppose to get relief of something; it's feels good when I'm stressed. Sometimes I do it when I feel I deserve to be punished or something. I don't know exactly." I felt tears coming again. My voice cracked as I whispered. "Can we change the subject to something else?"

He nodded and started walking by my side again. "Where have you been and done since the last time we saw each other." I asked, feeling a little hurt as I said it.

He went on and on and on about how he hunts the mountain lions and tigers. Apparently, they were his favorite. He told me how he left his family early, and how he went place to place, doing nothing supposedly.

We walked for a while more, until I decided that I wanted to tell him the other truth about me. But for some reason I couldn't bring myself to do it.

"Bella?" He asked suspiciously, "What are you thinking right now, is something on your mind?"

We were walking to the coffee shop and it had been quiet all the way there. We took our seat at our booth just to talk.

"Umm…" I didn't know how to word it, but for some reason it just didn't feel like the right time. It took me a minute to think. "Shit." I whispered. Oops. I forgot to grab my tongue. He didn't like it when I swore. But it was sort of a habit.

He reached over and held my hands. "What is it?" Yep. He was definitely concerned.

"I dunno. Maybe I should tell you later. Now isn't the time to talk about it." I said nervously. I _could not_ tell how he was going to take it.

"Now is nothing but the time." He told me. Then, I felt a little more confident.

"E-Edward." I was almost stumbling over my words. "I've been thinking." How could I get this out without balling. The waitress came by and we told her we didn't want anything. I waited until she walked off again. "Maybe this would be better if we talked about it outside."

He then stood, looking at me waiting for me to follow. This was way harder than I thought. We walked out side, and by now we were walking anywhere, it didn't really matter at the moment.

"I-I've been thinking that I should or should have…" I couldn't get it out. So I took a deep breath, here I go. "Edward. I've done substance abuse and I want to quit." I finally got out in a rush. And exhaled the rest of my breath.

I slowly glided my eyes to his face. His jaw dropped and I thought it was going to fall off or something close to that. He stopped walking, and I did too.

"Wh- WHAT!?" He practically screamed at me.

"Hey that's not fair. Stumbling over words is my thing." I tried to sound enthusiastic. But I don't think he was into funny at the moment.

"Bella!" He grabbed my shoulders, looking my in the eyes. "Why would you do that?!" by now it was really hard to look at him in the eyes. I almost started crying, I didn't want to face the truth.

"I felt it was the only way I was able to stay happy and calm." He looked devastated.

He dropped his arms. Trying to think of something to say, I could tell by the concentration on his face. "Bella." His voice cracked. "Bella." He repeated again. He hugged me close, almost silently crying. But, I too knew that even he wasn't able to cry.

I was shocked by his reaction. I didn't know what it was going to be, but I didn't think that it would be something like this.

He whispered in my ear, "Bella, I'm so sorry." The next thing I knew was I was hugging him back. I felt like I was a totally different person around him, somewhat like I now had a friend, and everything could get better soon.

What would happen now?


	3. Just A Day

I don't own Twilight, or the characters, or Stephnie Meyer. If I did, lets just say that my side of the story would be nothing like it is. :) And don't go all demon on me because the story isn't what you wanted or because the characters are OOC, that's the reason why the site is called FAN-fiction, people are aloud to write what they feel should or shouldn't happen. Well enough of my rampage. Thank you for reading this. R&R please for next chapter.

Chapter 3: Just A Day

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I awakened my eyes the sun at about five in the morning

I awakened my eyes the sun at about five in the morning. Of course! Why did the sun have to come out? Why couldn't the world stay in the moons shadow for the rest of eternity? Think about it, the world would be better, less people would get skin cancer, and you wouldn't get hurt from the sun, suddenly giving you sunburn. The sun was just absurd. I hated it. I despised it!

Unfortunately, I would have to live with the sun because there is nothing I could do about it. Why couldn't I live under ground, there was never sun down there. And I could sleep without being woken up.

My bad mood was suddenly changed when I felt strong arms engulf me. I hadn't felt this way in so long, I barely recognized the feeling. The night had been long indeed, and Edwards's company had been worthwhile, but the day was here, and my body certainly needed caring for.

I turned around in Edwards arms to face him; my eyes were still closed though. I must have had morning breath, but whatever, its part of life after all. I snapped my self out of it, I was human, and I should care about what I smelt like, especially if I was in front of my lover.

I sat up in my bed. Edward still lay there. "Are you okay?" He asked me.

I looked at him with my messed up hair like he was crazy, I'm not okay. I smell like crap and I tend to look like it right now too." I smiled at him, something that I have not done in so long that it felt almost awkward to do it.

I got up and looked in my drawers for a change of clothes. I grabbed a black t-shirt and a pair of jeans, a pair of underwear and my bra, and I was good to good. I turned back toward Edward looking at him with my monster hair. "Do you mind, I must smell like a dog right now?"

He smiled my favorite crooked smile and shook his head, "On the contrary, you smell much more pleasant than a dog."

I sarcastically smiled at him and nodded. "I think I'll be right back." And I was off the bathroom. As I went out of the hallway, I noticed that my apartment was quiet, ever since Phil left for traveling, everything had been quiet.

I noiselessly went into the bathroom and got into the shower where I knew that I could think and make myself smell good all at the same time.

Why out of all times, would I see Edward? I thought he was gone for good and that I would never see him again. I just can't believe that this would happen. I wonder how many other people this happens too. Then again, not very many people. It is not every day that you see a girl fall for a vampire and then the vampire leaves you and you go suicidal.

Anyway, I didn't really care for all that, all I knew was that Edward was here and he wasn't going to leave me at anytime soon, at least I don't think that he was going to leave at anytime as long as he kept up to his word.

Today, I had no choice but to find a job, if I did not then there was no way that I was going to live. I was going to die on the streets.

As I got out of the shower, I noticed that my cuts were nearly coming to their end of being scabs and they were coming in as new scars. Getting over this addiction was going to be hard, but I was going to have to live up to it, Edward even told me that he was going to held me and not give up.

I quickly brushed my teeth until I knew that they were minty fresh. I rinsed my mouth out and silently got dressed. I brushed my hair and went out of the bathroom. I silently walked to my room, yet I still didn't hear anything from my mother.

I walked into my bedroom to still see Edward lying on my bed. As he saw me, he sat up and I sat next to him. "Hey." I said.

"Hey yourself." He greeted back. "Have a nice shower?" He asked.

I smiled at him. "It was hot, I'll admit, but it felt really good. It's better to know that you are clean and not dirty." I looked at him. He kissed me on my forehead. "Do you want to go somewhere with me today?" I asked him.

"Now where can we be going?" He wondered aloud. I think it was to tease me.

I frowned. "Job looking." I told him. I frowned at the thought.

"Why would you do that?" He asked yet another question. What up with all the questions today. I looked at him puzzled.

"Umm, maybe because if I don't then my mother will kick me out onto the streets and I won't survive." I truthfully told him.

He looked at me in the eyes again. "Why would you need a job? Why can't you just move in with me?" He suggested.

"Because then that wouldn't be fair. You would be paying the rent and all and I wouldn't be doing squat." I told him.

He laughed. "You're not moving in with just me, you'll be with everyone else, Esme, Carlisle. Everyone." I smiled at the thought.

"Okay then what are we supposed to do?" He thought for a minute and then looked back at me.

"Why don't we go shopping for some new clothes? Black isn't entirely all your shade." I sat uncomfortably on the bed. Me? Wearing something besides black? How could I live with myself? But oh well, I guess that is just a change that I will have to make.

I didn't really feel like eating that morning, so I dragged Edward with me downstairs. Today was going to be interesting.

"Mom! I'm leaving!" I screamed for her, but I got no answer. I went to go look for her with Edward trailing behind me. All I found was a note saying that my mom was out for the day and she was shopping for groceries.

"My mom won't be back for at least a couple hours, she goes overboard with groceries." I smiled at him. For some reason I just could not stop smiling at him. He was my life now, he was always my life, and I can't live with out him. It was impossible.

We walked out of my apartment once again and into the outside world. I did not like it during the daytime; I just wish that the sun would die out. "So where are we headed to first?" I asked.

"Well, how about Hollister?" He suggested.

I dropped my jaw. "WHAT! I DO NOT THINK SO! TOO EXPENSIVE!" I nearly screamed in syllables.

He laughed a booming laugh. "My choice. I want you to look pretty and bring yourself out, quit hiding in that black shell of yours."

I smiled at his thought. I gave in. "Fine." He bent down and kissed my cheek, then slowly moved to my lips. "You are sincerely irresistible." He said against my lips. I almost laughed.

* * *

"I'm not wearing that! I'll look too preppy!" I almost screamed out in the middle of the store.

Edward twisted the pink shirt this way and that to see what was so wrong with it. "**I **think

You would look adorable in it." He said to me. "And there is no need to stereotype. It's not necessary." He told me right off hand. Jeeze.

I looked at the shirt in horror, I didn't think that I would ever wear pink again. I took the material from him. "I'll be back in a second." I said as I gave up. I can't believe I was going to do this, this was against my morals. No wait, this was completely beyond my morals.

I came back out of the changing room. I was pissed off. I couldn't believe that I was **wearing** pink. I walked up to Edward, he just stood there, looked and then smiled at me.

"That seems like it would be you." He said to me.

I just scoffed at him. "Your lucky, I had to argue with myself just to wear it. What's my next fate?" I asked him.

He looked at the store, then at me, then the store again. "I have a lot of ideas, your just going to have to accept them."

My eyes were practically bulging out of my head, I don't think I could try on the whole store, that's just barbaric. This was going to be a long day…

Ack. I know this is a short chapter, I a little bit rushed through it, I'm sorry.


	4. Time Is Money

Sorry about the months of delays. I really have no excuse for keeping you guys waiting. I am sorry. I am really going to try and update more. Thank you for taking your time and reading my stories, I really do try. Thank you. R&R for next chapter or the story is going to die. =/

-Suki

Chapter Four: Time Is Money

* * *

Edward and I got done with our shopping and were headed back down to his car when I remembered that I had forgotten one of my deals that I was supposed to make today. It was it with Carlos.

He was not a man to stand up for a deal. I would know. He had beaten me one time when I had forgotten. I was near death then. I felt my blood rush from my face. I can't believe that I forgot. He'd hunt me down for sure.

We were supposed to meet this morning for his ecstasy and heroin.

"Bella?" I heard Edward calling my name. "Bella, breathe." He brought me back to reality. I tried not to look at him in the eye.

"Bella? Are you okay?" I wasn't sure how to answer, so I stuck with the simple nod. His voice was struck with worry. "Are you sure?"

No, I wasn't sure. But I was sure that I was going to be beaten soon for forgetting something so important. You never mess with a guy and his ecstasy and heroin.

I still couldn't look at him. "Y-yeah." I was breathing heavily. "I'm fine."

The car ride was quiet, not like I could concentrate on anything anyway.

We turned into the parking lot to my apartment complex. I wasn't ready to get out any time soon. What if Carlos was waiting in my room again.

Edward couldn't come up there, especially if Carlos was there. Edward might kill him if he came after me. I had to take care of it myself.

He parked and turned off the engine. He was about to open his door. "Edward." I had to stop him. I had to make him stay. He looked at me strangely. "Edward… why don't you stay down here for a minute?"

He wasn't going to have it that way. He was going to be stubborn. "But I want to go with you." I didn't want to get pissed off, especially with the mood I was in.

I closed my eyes to concentrate on keeping it cool. "Just stay here for a few minutes. I'll be right back, okay?"

He gave in. "Fine, but if you're not back in ten minutes, I'm coming in."

I almost broke out into a sweat. 'That's if I wasn't dead by then.' I nodded and went for the car door handle; my hands were slippery. I knew Edward knew something was wrong.

I quickly got out of the car. But as soon as I was out of sight and half way up the stairs, my heart started to pound. I took hold of my pocket knife I always hid in my shoe. Only god and a few drug dealers knew what I used it for.

I crept up my stairs. Each squeaked as I stepped up. My heart pounded in my ears and against my chest. I was afraid of Carlos, but I just had to make sure.

Reaching for the front door, I almost heaved up food I had for lunch. If he was here, this would be a game for him and I was in deep shit.

I slowly turned the doorknob and pushed it open. Edward would be up in seven minutes if I didn't hurry and inspect.

I opened the front door slowly, scared of what could happen next. My apartment was silent which wasn't a good sign. But a good thing because that meant Rene was out. Either that or…

No I couldn't think of that, Carlos wouldn't go that far for ecstasy and heroin. Maybe PCP or meth, but not what he wanted this time. I might have done that a few times, but I didn't sell it.

But still, this was Carlos, he could get to limits unmanageable. My heart climbed up for more speed. Thank God I wasn't on a heart monitor.

The kitchen, living room, and bathroom were clear. Which left two rooms: Rene's room and my room. I was almost scared to open the door of her room. But Edward would be here soon.

Closing my eyes, I slowly opened her door. Then opened them again. My heart slowed down a little. Mom wasn't there. Nothing was there except a T.V., dresser, and her bed.

I closed the door. When I did, pressure along with pain filled the side of my head and I flew off to the side. I dropped my knife. Shit.

It was almost hard enough to knock me out. I tried to stand up, but my head felt to heavy and my head was spinning, I couldn't focus.

"Hola Bella." It was Carlos, of course. He stood over me, I was in a daze. "Why the hell didn't you come this morning mami?" He put pressure on my chest with his foot. It was getting harder to breathe. "Why did you stand me up? Again?" He added more pressure.

I tried to scream, but my vocals didn't seem to work. The only thing I could get out was a squeak, which wasn't helping. This was it. This is as far as I was going to go. Edward wasn't coming.

Carlos put his big hand around my neck and pick me up off the ground, cutting off my circulation.

He punched my in the stomach, right against the wall in the hallway, adding more pain to my stomach and back.

"You suck at dealing by the way." He said in his thick Mexican accent. But I couldn't do anything. I didn't even try to fight back.

Before I could even pass out, he punched me hard in the face again. But that's all I felt before everything went black and I fell limp.

* * *

I couldn't tell where I was in this darkness. I couldn't even feel anything. What happened? I couldn't recall anything. Maybe I was dead and I was in hell. But if this was hell, where's Satan? Where is all the fire? Where is the pain and agony?

I seemed so confused. Then I saw a bright light, but this light wasn't beautiful or anything. I wasn't even supposed to head toward that type of light. Never in a million years, billion, or trillion. Maybe being dead was the best way to go.

Away from everyone. Away from everything. Away from myself. Away from Edward. Now I knew it was hell. Not having Edward was my worst nightmare.

I felt like crying my dreams away. Like I could push them away, that could never happen. I was scared of everything now. No Edward… I was destined to be tortured.

But this light wouldn't go away. It was uninvited. I felt it was here to stay.

Now I was starting to hear things. It sounded like an angel from heaven. It sounded like Edwards voice. NO!! I wanted to keep it away. I wished it would go away.

"Bella, love?" I tried to push it away. "Bellaaa…?" It wouldn't go.

A scream. Who was screaming? I felt like I was being shaken from a life I once had.

Still screaming… It was me.

Why wasn't anything going away?

I felt this pain. The pain was in my head, this agonizing pounding against my skull.

My eyes shot open and the screaming stopped.

"Bella?" My eyes took a minute to adjust to Edwards beautiful face. He looked like he was in pain.

I was breathing normal at least. I looked around. We were in my room. And the light was coming from a bright lamp. I was surprised we weren't in a hospital.

"Edward?" He was sitting on the edge of my bed staring down at me still looking painful, but looked a little relieved. "Edward!" I sat up too quick and hugged him. My heart fluttered. I didn't care about what had happened before. He was here, and by my side. I thought I wouldn't see him again.

For the first time in years I felt that I didn't need to be high or ditzy to breathe or happy. I just wanted Edward.

My head was still a little dizzy from the head rush. "You're here." I couldn't help but smile.

I felt his smile too. "Always." My heart jumped. His arms hugged me back. I buried my face in the crook of his neck. Everything for once, felt right. I felt fine for once. It seemed like a once in a lifetime deal. And I never wanted it to end.

Except for… Carlos. What happened to him? And why am I still here?


End file.
